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Intentional. God is very much aware of the enormous insufficiency in my life; however, he refuses to move on my behalf. The insufficiency as such is manifested as a fire. The fire has multiple benefits. Disclaimer: not all fires in our lives are for the same purposes, consider Job. This particular inferno, with the help of the Holy Spirit, is to draw out the bold believer that wants nothing more than to be used by God, who relies completely on God, and without a shadow of a doubt knows that God will provide. I drifted. How far? So far that God had to put me back in the fire to get my attention. I craved equivalent blessings that I received when my position was the same prior to my drifting. I wanted to hear from God but listen to the world.

I desired promotion from On High but my faith was in my own ability and strength. Meandering to my spiritual demise, never leaving the church, still believing in God, but I stopped relying on God for EVERYTHING. So God had to strip me down to nothing so that I had nothing and no one to depend on but Him, which was the case from the beginning. As the smoke cleared, I saw chains of doubt, fear, worry, guilt, and shame falling off. I quickly repented for abandonment and idolatry. I abandoned my relationship with God. I idolized the things of this world. Although I did not give my whole heart to another, I gave pieces of myself to idols.

“Therefore I was provoked with that generation, and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart; they have not known my ways.’” Hebrews 3:10

My security was in my money. My confidence was in others opinions of me. My faith was in what might happen. I was validated by my good performance, hence my inner turmoil when I did not perform perfectly. Through the cracks in the windows of my heart, made by sin,  blew my identity in Christ. I need this fire. Indeed, these flames are saving my life. I forgot that I do not have to work for approval. It slipped my mind that I do not have to settle for less. The memo reminding me that I am forgiven, loved, chosen, and favored fell off of my computer screen. But God in His undying love for me could not let things continue this way. He reached down in the dump and saw me drowning in filth contently, yet miserably and set me on fire. Embers in my life are aglow so much so that I can see plainly. I can see the hand of the Lord reaching out to me.

“Then I called on the name of the LORD: “Please, LORD, save me!” How kind the LORD is! How good he is! So merciful, this God of ours! The LORD protects those of childlike faith; I was facing death, and he saved me.” Psalm 116:4-6

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Our position is everything. From my previous blogs it may seem that I am at Jesus feet, which I am, nonetheless, there were aspects of my heart that I had taken back for myself. God wants it all. There are levels of glory that were restricted to me because of my refusal to surrender completely. How do we surrender? Think about it when the police arrest someone what is one of the first things they tell the person to do? You got it. Put your hands up. That’s right. Surrender. Hands up. Palms up. In worship, in our hearts, we are to release our will in exchange for His perfect will. Positionally, I stopped demanding a blessing and started thanking God for being God. I am in the position of a pupil. Readily available to learn from the Lord. I talk to God more and people less. Not that communicating with others is negative, but I am a blabber. Chatting with people does not give me the divine revelation as when I commune with Jehovah Rapha. The Lord is our Healer.

“If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

The Lord is healing my wounds from the past. He is carefully and delicately reinforming me that I do not have to be perfect to be his beloved; I am and will always be his daughter. When we smell smoke or see flames more than likely we’ve been adrift for quite some time if drifting is the reason for the fire. Nevertheless, the Lord knows exactly what is needed to get our hearts back on course. He never leaves us nor forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:8). It still stings a little when those scars from past trauma are pressed or when cognitive distortions attempt to reign in my mind, but the fire is a constant reminder of Jehovah Shammah. The Lord is here. He is ever-present teaching me and sometimes reteaching me to live for Him with my whole heart, in position, at His feet. The greatest gift we ever could be given is freedom from the bondage of sin and the penalty of said sin. When we drift we are trading the magnificent freedom from God through the Lord Jesus Christ for heavy, painful chains.

The chains do not look like chains. They resemble things that please our flesh but drag us down the river from the fountain of living water. Perhaps, that situation that you are praying and petitioning God to remove is the fiery trial He is using to get your attention to get you back in your rightful place. Ephesians 2:6 reads “For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus.” This verse is powerful. Inasmuch as it confirms our deadness in sin it reaffirms our life and position in the heavenly realms with Jesus Christ. Hallelujah! As often as the enemy attempts to get us to hang our heads low we are reminded that we are seated in heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. This unity means we have authority over the enemy, our flesh, situations, feelings, and can maintain position in Christ despite the many temptations to drift.

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Authority is my focal point right now as  I am making moment to moment cognitive efforts to operate in the fullness of the greatness of who I am in the Lord. That means I can do what God says I can do. I can go where God says I can go. There is no fear here. Bills, work, school, children, parents, situations, even church folk do not have the power to control, condemn, or change my position when I walk in authority. How can one be seated in heavenly realms with Jesus Christ, yet be controlled, condemned, or changed positionally by life events or people? It happens every day because we drift from His feet and forget where our seat is. Brothers and sisters, drift no longer and stay seated, in the name Jesus.

“Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19

I note, how my boat got so far from the coast

Somehow I’ve wandered; I miss Your presence most

The days basking in Your glory, replaced with awful stories

Of sorrowful mornings and nights that never end

With my heart adjusted I resume my sail

Forever trusting Your plan, lacking details

But I know Jehovah Jireh, is greater than this disaster

My Dad, my Defender, here as before my Master

-Lady Jay