Retrospectively, applying the word of God to the spiritual unrest that I suffered, I remembered that my battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places Ephesians 6:12. Today, I saw the doctor. When asked how I was doing, I went into a full oration acknowledging every obstacle, hardship, and tormenting feeling that plagued me. Unsurprisingly, I left there feeling as if there was a  twenty-pound sack of potatoes on my back. Focused on the potatoes, I could not see the myriad of blessings that surrounded me. I was blind to my pursuers, grace, and mercy. I remained in this emotional state for 8 hours until I heard defeat coming out of my mouth, resulting in contention between my husband and I. After apologizing to hubby, I listened to a sermon and did a full analysis of my current spiritual state.

What happened? Did I speak death, pronounce defeat, and utter uselessness over my life? Indeed. I spoke what I saw based on how I felt which revolved around occurrences in the natural. My first error was speaking what I saw. In 2 Corinthians 5: 7, we are reminded that our walk is a faithwalk, not a cakewalk. “For we live by faith, not by sight.” The images that are sent to our brain from the outer world wars against our faith. Typically, one would assume that they are in a comfortable position financially when they look into their accounts, check their credit score, and gaze into their wallets and see plenty. Contrarily, as believers when we take those same inventories, sometimes coming up with negative cents, debt abounding, and iou’s2 we must walk with the understanding that we are being kept and provided for by God. Additionally, the peace that we carry in our spirit man, manifested by our responses in the natural, both inwardly and externally, are not to reflect the severity of what we are experiencing.

An example would be having the contentment that comes from healing in the midst of sickness. Also, possessing security that comes from the ability to pay bills when there are insufficient funds.

If we are not to walk by what we see, then I submit that we are not to walk by what we feel as well. The majority of my blogs are about feelings. I’ve been told and have witnessed feelings cause believers to sin, and ultimately walk away from God. Our emotions attempt to dictate what our next course of action should be, often mistakenly. I have learned that my feelings are habitually the enemy of the desired results that I seek. An emotion will tell me to nag my husband, faith promotes prayer for my marriage and for my husband. Feelings urge me to EAT, EAT, EAT, my faith prompts fasting and prayer. Do you see how our feelings are on the other side of the spectrum, producing the opposite results that we desperately want to see? I just realized the correlation.

The second thing I did wrong today was itemizing my struggles. I once was given a short Q & A in regards to self-image. One side asked me to list what I thought were my shortcomings; the other side asked me to list my strengths. Wouldn’t you know that my list was so imbalanced it almost fell off of the table? I ran out of space, adamantly labeling my weaknesses; however, my strengths were not readily available in my mind. Similarly, my struggles, failures, undone to do’s, and the like are ever present in my thought circus. But why? Who gets the glory when I focus on the negatives aspects of things? What should I think about?

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9

Furthermore, our thoughts come to life, by what comes out of our mouths. When I spoke all of that woe over my situation this morning, it dragged me and my joy into the deep. Oh Glory, but when we stand in the midst of impossibility and proclaim the goodness of the Lord we can soar. Hallelujah! When we tell our trials that God is bigger. When we are less aware of our feelings, becoming fully aware of God, His might, His sovereignty, His excellence, His power, His fair, just nature, His LOVE, we can answer that loaded question, “How are you feeling”, with victory!

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“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

So the next time the doctor, or anyone for that matter, asks me how I am doing, I can graciously retort, “I am doing very well, in the name Jesus!” Sure, things look frightening, but by faith, I can operate in the peace of God. I will speak what I do not see but has been confirmed in my spirit man by the word of God. I do not need thousands of people to lay hands on me to confirm what our inerrant God has said. All I have to do is speak what God promised, believing that the same God is alive and living in me today and He WILL do what He said. The following passage of scripture illustrates God’s word executing its assignment at all times, thus promising a better day. Be encouraged!

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and hills

will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field

will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.

This will be for the Lord’s renown,

for an everlasting sign,

that will endure forever.””

Isaiah 55:9-13

-Lady Jay

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